Note: This entry is of a personal nature and has little to nothing to do with the country unless of course you consider how PM Lee has been urging (close to begging) locals to get hitched recently. A warning as well as this might prove to be sickeningly (too) sweet for some readers to digest.
I love my husband – I say it as a matter of fact rather than being all sappy and romantic about it. Every time I say it to him (which can be several times a day), I believe it soul deep and profoundly beyond doubt. He makes me a better person just by existing. Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror when he’s around, I understand what people mean by having a smile that lights you up from the inside. He makes me happy like that and I can’t take my eyes off him, my hands constantly reach out to touch him, I always want to hold him closer..
I fell in love with my husband because he respected me from the first time we met. Despite being a lot older than me, he treated me as an equal and listened. He was never condescending, never patronizing, never belittling my struggles and my beliefs even if he had so much more life experience than I did. He listened and didn’t judge, didn’t try to fix me.. And I admired him greatly for it. Even today, he only offers help when I ask for it. I think that’s a great system for couples to have just so you learn to vocalize what you want from each other. Don’t ever assume anything – that is the start of the end of so many relationships. To me though, what’s invaluable is the respect and faith he has in me than I am a capable woman who can handle her problems just fine.
Also, he never ever ever criticizes my driving. For the record, I’m an ‘amazing driver’ (in his words). Honestly though, I’m fine. Really.
Respect is a strong show of love.
We spent a lot of time talking and listening to each other in the beginning. I think we admired each other for keeping up with intelligent conversations as much as we were capable of chatting about the weather. More than that though, I think we were both impressed that we were able to be comfortable with each other in silence. That was really nice. I remember taking the time to drink in his side profile (which I think is really really attractive) and stare at him across the table with glazed-over lovestruck eyes.. He must have been amused.. But he must have known, because he always sits angled towards me! Or maybe his legs are simply too long to tuck under the table properly.. Sigh, either way I really don’t mind. I think I grew to adore him. It’s one thing to admire a man for his great qualities (and he will appreciate it), but it’s another thing entirely to appear lovestruck over him (and very flattering for him). I think to be able to do both.. What a man huh? These days I still shamelessly flirt with my husband publicly or play footsie under the table.. It makes him laugh; sometimes he even blushes! Other times he swipes my foot away mortified.. But still, he’ll laugh. I really relish his laughs.
Indulge in the giddiness of love.. It’s not bimbotic to adore the man you love and show it.
After we truly settled down together, I begun to notice the little things that my husband did to show he cares. He was never really vocal with the ‘I love you’s (until I conditioned it into him); he was the action type of guy. He would remember things I said in passing a long time ago, insist on holding doors open for me even when it’s awkward because he’s left-handed, open cans for me so I don’t chip my nail polish, always offer me an arm when I’m in heels, position himself to catch me if I fall on escalators, notice when I change my nail color or makeup.. Honestly, I didn’t expect a man of this age to be quite as gentlemanly as my husband is. He’s quite a dream come true when it comes to his impeccable social manners if you’ll excuse his snarky mouth (which he only shows me of course). Rolls eyes* But I appreciate his tenderness and the attention he shows me more than I thought I would. It’s just really nice to receive flowers just because, or to have him compliment a new dress and even recognize he hasn’t seen it before. Girls are still girls you see..
The little gestures count for a lot.
My favorite feature of my husband’s is his hands. I love that they hold my face tenderly when he kisses me, comfort me and warm me when I’m down and cold, grips me assuringly when I’m overwhelmed by the world, holds me tight to him even in his sleep.. Sometimes we fall asleep with fingers interlaced. I really do feel loved deeply by this man. Words can be lies, but his hands speaks volumes of truth to me. This is turning borderline sappy, but I’m awed sometimes, intrigued by us and how far we have come. Behind our teasing and light-hearted way we conduct our relationship, he has become my sanctuary. I know he’ll always support me and protect me because that’s what he’s been doing for a long time now without me actually realizing it. He is my calm, my strength, my rock if you will.. And I am ever so grateful and in awe that he would promise me this much. Sometimes it feels like I’m never going to be good enough for him even.. But I’ll certainly try!
Love can be a slow realization but when you do see it, it can be breath-taking.
My husband is not perfect though; in fact he is very far from it. He has his moods, his quirks, his bad days. Sometimes he sorely tests my patience, other times it gets bad enough I feel like I actually love him less for a week or a month. But I knew he was not perfect from the beginning and never even dreamt I could possibly change him. In fact, we’re aren’t even compatible personality types to be honest! Yes, we eventually learned to compromise, we learned what was out of line, we learned not to be cruel to each other, but that took a lot of time and a lot of love. Above all, it took a lot of courage and honesty. It was a conscious effort for both of us to let each other in; a struggle of mind and heart for two intensely private and logical people. Make no mistake that it was difficult, so much so it almost broke us I have to admit.. But it was so worth it in the end.
Commit to dig deep for each other.
My husband and I like to say we fell in lust with each other wayyy before we fell in love. We did a fair bit of trying to seduce each other I would say! Unconventional as it might have been, it was great fun and it still is to this day. I hope we never stop riling each other up or sneaking in those stolen kisses. Of course the electric quality of those first kisses cannot be entirely replicated these days.. But my husband still excites me and by now, he knows exactly what to do so I’ll melt and agree to whatever he wants. It is very unfortunate fortunate that he holds this power over me and that he knows it and wickedly uses it! But who am I really to resist..
Word of advice to the girls; show your interest by initiation and that eagerness will be reflected twofold right back to you! Men are great reciprocators that way..
Primal attraction is as vital as having fun in a relationship.
My husband is leaving on an emergency work trip in 24hours and I already miss him dearly. It’s hard to be apart and I feel emptier just thinking I can’t hold him for a while. He likes the analogy that I’m an iPhone that needs him desperately like a charger. Haha, that is indeed quite apt. I have no gift for him this Valentine’s and we actually have no standing tradition of celebrating the day, but I did use to write him love letters more often than I do now..
So love, I wrote this really atrociously mushy piece for you. It’s quite the declaration of love isn’t it? A LOT of people will see it and I’m quite frankly embarrassed. I’ve not done something sweet for you in a while. It having been a really tough year was no excuse to have neglected you. But you know I really do adore you don’t you? Now smile a bit, I know you hate the breach of privacy.. But love, everyone can tell already how I feel for you. It’s just now expressed to a small degree, inadequately in words. It took 3 separate attempts, but this time it’s done. Don’t tear up now, but I hope you enjoyed the read. (Illiterate! 😛)
